From the very bottom of my heart, Thank you!!
I hope this blog could help you in any situation.
Thank you once again.
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Friday, 16 November 2012
Recovery - after surgery
YOU ARE SUCH A STRONG BOY SAYANG!
Moral of the story, keep calm.
We still take Zarif for his follow up check up with the Plastic Surgeon and Dental. For now, we apply the Vitamin E oil to his scar...
We stayed for 2 nights and we can't wait to go home. We miss Zafri so much. Mama was telling that Zafri was so restless....
After 4 days, the doctor took the plaster off.... didn't get to see his smile yet. But not long after... he started smiling again... Syukur sangat pada Allah swt..... The recover period for baby is faster.... thank God for that.
We still take Zarif for his follow up check up with the Plastic Surgeon and Dental. For now, we apply the Vitamin E oil to his scar...
Handling the Two...
Ishhh dah lama tak update blog... I've been super busy.... with maid problem and catching up with the twins... i find myself had no time to write...sigh ;p
Well..... both Zafri and Zarif are super duper hyper!! They turn the house upside down... ni belum ada kaki lagi.... Zafri turn for the first time on 7th September and Zarif on the 22nd September. Cepat betul masa berlalu... sekarang ni dah tumbuh gigi... Zarif punya 1st gigi keluar on 6th November and Zafri 16th November.
Though I am eager to see them teething, I am also nervous with Zarif's development. Hmmmm I've forgotten the terms the doctor used on his cleft... besides cleft lip there is something else...where there is a small gap at his gum. That is just a small issue, yet enough to make me nervous. I am still very thankful of whatever his condition is....
Taking care of the twins alone by myself was a great challenge.... sangat2 menguji kesabaran... at a time, I just sat inside the toilet crying. For no reason. There are some good days and some bad days where they get very grumpy. Or I was just too tired already that a little cry can annoys me big time. Sometime I just wished I have a remote control that I can press STOP while they cries and press a laughing button instead.
Well of course...that was tooooo ambitious of me hehehe.....
Zarif will be going for his check up every 6 months with PPUM, both dental and plastic surgeon. Which is good. So that they can monitor his progress. My aim for the future, to get both of them involve in any activities organized by CLAPAM. YES...both of them together. I do not one any of them feel left out or different unnecessarily. They are brothers.... and we are family... family do things together.
Earlier, I was complaining about the crying right? Today, I watched a talk show - Primadona at Astro, the issues about mothers. One of their guest was this young mother. Her baby, Ahmad Adam Syukri, suffer from Brain Damage HIE.... Ya Allah, besarnya dugaan dia. One thing that she said in the show that really slap me on my face..... She is longing to hear Adam's voice or cry... Adam is 8 months old just the same age with my twins. So, I should be very very grateful to see the progress of my babies and I pray for baby Adam, sihat lah sayang.....
Kita tak tahu apa ketentuannya... at the time when I feel God is testing me too much, I have to be positive about life and kept myself strong.
Till then, keep searching for the lights.... though it is far far away.
Well..... both Zafri and Zarif are super duper hyper!! They turn the house upside down... ni belum ada kaki lagi.... Zafri turn for the first time on 7th September and Zarif on the 22nd September. Cepat betul masa berlalu... sekarang ni dah tumbuh gigi... Zarif punya 1st gigi keluar on 6th November and Zafri 16th November.
Though I am eager to see them teething, I am also nervous with Zarif's development. Hmmmm I've forgotten the terms the doctor used on his cleft... besides cleft lip there is something else...where there is a small gap at his gum. That is just a small issue, yet enough to make me nervous. I am still very thankful of whatever his condition is....
Taking care of the twins alone by myself was a great challenge.... sangat2 menguji kesabaran... at a time, I just sat inside the toilet crying. For no reason. There are some good days and some bad days where they get very grumpy. Or I was just too tired already that a little cry can annoys me big time. Sometime I just wished I have a remote control that I can press STOP while they cries and press a laughing button instead.
Well of course...that was tooooo ambitious of me hehehe.....
Zarif will be going for his check up every 6 months with PPUM, both dental and plastic surgeon. Which is good. So that they can monitor his progress. My aim for the future, to get both of them involve in any activities organized by CLAPAM. YES...both of them together. I do not one any of them feel left out or different unnecessarily. They are brothers.... and we are family... family do things together.
Earlier, I was complaining about the crying right? Today, I watched a talk show - Primadona at Astro, the issues about mothers. One of their guest was this young mother. Her baby, Ahmad Adam Syukri, suffer from Brain Damage HIE.... Ya Allah, besarnya dugaan dia. One thing that she said in the show that really slap me on my face..... She is longing to hear Adam's voice or cry... Adam is 8 months old just the same age with my twins. So, I should be very very grateful to see the progress of my babies and I pray for baby Adam, sihat lah sayang.....
Kita tak tahu apa ketentuannya... at the time when I feel God is testing me too much, I have to be positive about life and kept myself strong.
Till then, keep searching for the lights.... though it is far far away.
Monday, 2 July 2012
I miss my Ilhan Zafri
I really miss this budak bulat!!!
My mum was telling, on the first day he was still ok... but on the 2nd day... he already started to search for something.. He was very restless.... alahaii kesian.... When I was in the ward, I kept looking at his picture and videos (thank you to the technology)....
I miss you so dearly Zafri.... and I love you heaps!!!
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| Papa mms me this pic of his when I was in the hosp.... Zafri on my bed... |
My mum was telling, on the first day he was still ok... but on the 2nd day... he already started to search for something.. He was very restless.... alahaii kesian.... When I was in the ward, I kept looking at his picture and videos (thank you to the technology)....
I miss you so dearly Zafri.... and I love you heaps!!!
This is it........
21st June 2012 ~ The Surgery Day
Pasrah, Redha and PREPARED......
We woke up at 6am and get ourself ready to go to the OT with Zarif. The journey was quite far cos we need to walk from Pediatric Ward to Menara Utama... I carry Zarif in my arm cos he was crying due to hunger... but soon after I carried him.... terus senyap and mata dia terus 'pelingau-pelingau' (banjar)...
The numbness was still in me - luckily! Kalau tidak sure dah emo semacam. I know to many this is small matter, but to both Kamal and I, this is huge because it is our son. We received numerous comment as "tak apa...ni kecik jer... tak yah nak risau ke nak nangis"....Cuba tengok kalau anak sendiri at this age kena masuk OT alone... kecik ke besar rasanyer?? Hehehehe.... so to all the parents with cleft babies out there - we feel you!!
There was no drama to this. When I put Zarif on the bed in the OT, I was calm (surprisingly!). Nope...no tears (for Ratu Airmata like me..this is a big deal hahhaha). This is when I realized, I was Pasrah, Redha and Prepared. I know he is in a good hand of Prof. Alizan and his team.
We went for breakfast and waited at the waiting area.
I put him on the bed at 9am... at abt 11.45am, the nurse already call us. As we walked in towards the recovery area, I feel like it was the longest walk I've ever been.... there he was lying in his court... still feeling drowsy... and I cried. Zarif darling.... you look so small yet so strong.... Alhamdulillah everything went well. The nurses asked me to hold him so that he can feel me. I kept on whispering to his ears.... mama sayang zarif... i dont know why... may be i just want him to know i love him regardless what.
Pasrah, Redha and PREPARED......
We woke up at 6am and get ourself ready to go to the OT with Zarif. The journey was quite far cos we need to walk from Pediatric Ward to Menara Utama... I carry Zarif in my arm cos he was crying due to hunger... but soon after I carried him.... terus senyap and mata dia terus 'pelingau-pelingau' (banjar)...
The numbness was still in me - luckily! Kalau tidak sure dah emo semacam. I know to many this is small matter, but to both Kamal and I, this is huge because it is our son. We received numerous comment as "tak apa...ni kecik jer... tak yah nak risau ke nak nangis"....Cuba tengok kalau anak sendiri at this age kena masuk OT alone... kecik ke besar rasanyer?? Hehehehe.... so to all the parents with cleft babies out there - we feel you!!
There was no drama to this. When I put Zarif on the bed in the OT, I was calm (surprisingly!). Nope...no tears (for Ratu Airmata like me..this is a big deal hahhaha). This is when I realized, I was Pasrah, Redha and Prepared. I know he is in a good hand of Prof. Alizan and his team.
We went for breakfast and waited at the waiting area.
 |
| isshhh bulat!! ;p |
I put him on the bed at 9am... at abt 11.45am, the nurse already call us. As we walked in towards the recovery area, I feel like it was the longest walk I've ever been.... there he was lying in his court... still feeling drowsy... and I cried. Zarif darling.... you look so small yet so strong.... Alhamdulillah everything went well. The nurses asked me to hold him so that he can feel me. I kept on whispering to his ears.... mama sayang zarif... i dont know why... may be i just want him to know i love him regardless what.
Sunday, 1 July 2012
The Day before the Surgery Day....
20th June 2012 - 7am
We were getting ready to go to PPUM. My heartbeat was fast. I am nervous. I know today is not the surgery day, but it is the first step for tomorrow. Both mama and papa were in my house to help me to take care of Zafri. Before we left, we still manage to smile for a pic!! hehehe.... camera freak!!
I have to admit, I am a coward when it comes to blood... even my own. Tapi bila the doctor wanna put the line to Zarif, I was in the room with him.... hmmmm this is exactly how people always says... we only realize our weaknesses not our strength hehehe...
That night, I feel numb. May be because my heart hurt so much thinking of tomorrow till I do not know how and what to feel. I saw Kamal was very calm..... thank God.
Starting from 2am, Zarif need to start fasting. Alhamdulillah it was not so bad for him.... He woke up at 12midnite for his milk... then at 1.30am we tried to wake him up... time time ni lah dia nak tidur lena selena lenanya pulak hehehehe... selalunya tergerak sikit confirm bangun!!
We were getting ready to go to PPUM. My heartbeat was fast. I am nervous. I know today is not the surgery day, but it is the first step for tomorrow. Both mama and papa were in my house to help me to take care of Zafri. Before we left, we still manage to smile for a pic!! hehehe.... camera freak!!
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| One brave lil boy ..... |
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| Zarif with papa.... happy mood |
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| Both kamal n i rotate to sleep on d comfy sofa... |
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| Zarif as a case study |
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| Zarif with a group of young doctors.... hmmm dah besar nanti jadi doctor yer... |
That night, I feel numb. May be because my heart hurt so much thinking of tomorrow till I do not know how and what to feel. I saw Kamal was very calm..... thank God.
Starting from 2am, Zarif need to start fasting. Alhamdulillah it was not so bad for him.... He woke up at 12midnite for his milk... then at 1.30am we tried to wake him up... time time ni lah dia nak tidur lena selena lenanya pulak hehehehe... selalunya tergerak sikit confirm bangun!!
 |
| Kamal was trying to put Zarif to sleep at 4am.... i guess kamal yg tidur dulu hehe |
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Be strong dear heart....
"Mama...adik takut"... hmmmm nope.... that was not Zarif telling me. It was me telling my mum just now. A mother always need her own mother to tell that everything will be alright. Mama also said she is afraid/nervous too... this is also her first experience with her own cucu... It's good she is not hiding her feeling... at least I know it is ok to feel what I feel...
I've been wanting to see the video on how the surgery would be done.... had no guts! But today... the curiosity gets higher.... as the surgery is just around the corner - i need to know how..i know the theory.. now i want to know how it would be done physically. So, I youtubed.
http://youtu.be/Mn6ShNspVfw
Bermulalah episod banjir di dalam bilik.... oh dear heart... please be strong.
As I mentioned earlier, I am very factual person, I guess... after knowing how (my heart broke even more...) but NOW I KNOW and I feel such a relieved. There will be pain, there will be crying.... there will be recovery.
My dear heart,
Be strong. I need you.
My Almighty Allah swt,
Please forgive me of my sin.
Let the pain be more in my heart than to him...
I accept your test, as your love to me..
What you are doing is reminding me...
Otherwise you wont be choosing me..
I've been wanting to see the video on how the surgery would be done.... had no guts! But today... the curiosity gets higher.... as the surgery is just around the corner - i need to know how..i know the theory.. now i want to know how it would be done physically. So, I youtubed.
http://youtu.be/Mn6ShNspVfw
Bermulalah episod banjir di dalam bilik.... oh dear heart... please be strong.
As I mentioned earlier, I am very factual person, I guess... after knowing how (my heart broke even more...) but NOW I KNOW and I feel such a relieved. There will be pain, there will be crying.... there will be recovery.
My dear heart,
Be strong. I need you.
My Almighty Allah swt,
Please forgive me of my sin.
Let the pain be more in my heart than to him...
I accept your test, as your love to me..
What you are doing is reminding me...
Otherwise you wont be choosing me..
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