Pasrah, Redha and PREPARED......
We woke up at 6am and get ourself ready to go to the OT with Zarif. The journey was quite far cos we need to walk from Pediatric Ward to Menara Utama... I carry Zarif in my arm cos he was crying due to hunger... but soon after I carried him.... terus senyap and mata dia terus 'pelingau-pelingau' (banjar)...
The numbness was still in me - luckily! Kalau tidak sure dah emo semacam. I know to many this is small matter, but to both Kamal and I, this is huge because it is our son. We received numerous comment as "tak apa...ni kecik jer... tak yah nak risau ke nak nangis"....Cuba tengok kalau anak sendiri at this age kena masuk OT alone... kecik ke besar rasanyer?? Hehehehe.... so to all the parents with cleft babies out there - we feel you!!
There was no drama to this. When I put Zarif on the bed in the OT, I was calm (surprisingly!). Nope...no tears (for Ratu Airmata like me..this is a big deal hahhaha). This is when I realized, I was Pasrah, Redha and Prepared. I know he is in a good hand of Prof. Alizan and his team.
We went for breakfast and waited at the waiting area.
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| isshhh bulat!! ;p |
I put him on the bed at 9am... at abt 11.45am, the nurse already call us. As we walked in towards the recovery area, I feel like it was the longest walk I've ever been.... there he was lying in his court... still feeling drowsy... and I cried. Zarif darling.... you look so small yet so strong.... Alhamdulillah everything went well. The nurses asked me to hold him so that he can feel me. I kept on whispering to his ears.... mama sayang zarif... i dont know why... may be i just want him to know i love him regardless what.
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