A note for my Baby Zarif

A week from now, we both will be at PPUM for your surgery.  We will go through this together.  You will not be alone in the operation theater.. Both mama & papa chose a very good plastic surgeon for you and he has a very good team.  He will be very nice to you sayang.

I am sorry that you have to go through this sayang.  But I guess Allah swt has a better plan for all of us.  I know both my babies are strong.... And you Zarif, you were in the incubator for few days after you were born.  You had all the wires and tube all over you and I was not able to be with you on the first day.  You are the hero of all!!  This time around, we will go through this together.  Believe me, if you feel any pain, I am feeling it too and IF EVER I COULD TRANSFER ALL THE PAIN TO ME, I WOULD.

IF you ever wonder why you have the cleft, it is because God loves you so much sayang.  He was not able to let go all of you to me, so he borrow a little piece of you and he will return it to you when you are in heaven.  You both are special babies.  Zafri will be a stronger brother to you just by loving you and being with you all the time.  I love both of you equally.

After this surgery, you will have to go through another at the age of 6 or 7.. and after that at the age of 13-14.  What I am doing to you is for the best of you.  Whatever it takes, we will go through this as a family....