Salah siapa?

Hmmm.... well... someway somehow this question will occur in your head if you were to have a cleft baby.  Sebenarnya - nobody's fault.  There is no specific reason how this happen - medically or superstitiously.  Orang dulu-dulu kata if the father pergi fishing, anak akan sumbing or mak jangan siang ikan masa mengandung etc etc... ini semua adalah kepercayaan orang tua-tua.  Tiada bukti yang boleh menunjukkan mana-mana keadaan ini benar atau tidak... BUT... jangan ambil mudah... dan juga jangan terlalu taksub nak percaya benda-benda ni.  Things happened for a reason dan semuanya atas izin Allah swt. 

Most importantly - NEVER blame your partner.  Your baby need both of you and you both need each other very strongly.  In my case, I honestly thank God for what and how Kamal is.  Calm. Unlike me, I am a factual person... suka sangat nak google everything.  Because deep in my heart, I am blaming myself.  During my first & second trimester.... i was flat on the floor.  Seriously!! Macam-macam ubat I had to take and after few minute sure muntah balik.  I don't have enough folic acid, vitamins etc etc... and cleft usually happened during the first trimester (i read this somewhere).  So in a way, I was actually blaming myself.... i felt it till today.  Hmmm how to get rid of this feeling?  Honestly, I don't know!! But... tak payah nak pressure sangat... there are sooo many other things you need to do besides blaming yourself.  As for me, I divert the guilty thoughts to - what is the next step?  That's why, I met all the respective doctors/people with regards to cleft before I gave birth.

Of course, sekali sekala... i'll be in tears for no reason too... I am human after all.... :) 

Life is not bed of roses everyday... challenges help you to discover who you are in a way you least expected it from yourself...  and it definitely brings you closer to God...

For whatever it is, thank you Allah for giving this MAN to me...  never blamed, never questioned... he just want us to move on.